Day 50

Today, I was supposed to be learning, but then, I got lazy... KC made me lazy... Hahahaha.... I slept the whole afternoon. It is not me normally, but then i slept. I know that when you were here, we will just be sleeping the whole afternoon... I am pretty sure we will be doing the same. I miss doing things with you. Tomorrow, the movie that you have been waiting will be showing, and i will not be able to watch it because I knowI will not enjoy it. I miss you so much that it hurts me everyday. I may not show it to others because I don't want them to worry too much for me and KC but every day I am reminded of the loss. It is not the same. I miss you so much.... It still hurts me to tell the story to other people. I have been trying to hide it from everyone else. I am not usually the type to cry in front of other people but the fact that it still hurts to say the things that happen to you still makes me cringe. I know I should be used to it already but still it makes my throat close and I just want to stop talking. It really is still painful.